Some Poetry

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Today, I would like to share three poems that I wrote years ago, that were actually published in anthologies.

The first, I wrote in 1993 as my then fiance and I were getting ready to get married:

Approaching Our Day

With each passing day, the time draws near

For us to pledge ourselves one to the other forever, my dear.

That day will be great —

I can hardly wait!

Then together we will go

Down the long, winding road;

Fulfilling old dreams and building new ones,

Constantly sharing both difficulties and fun.

We’ll share love and support, laughter and tears

As together we grow old through the years.

We’ll climb difficult mountains and race down steep hills

Encouraging each other forever, as we will.

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This next one was written as I watched my grandmother’s memory slip away as her body gave in to Alzheimer’s disease:

Lament of an Alzheimer’s Patient

Many memories, once vivid and bright,

Now fade with the twilight’s last light.

They say it’s an incurable disease;

When I beg someone to help me, please!

I feel frustration, anger, and pain;

As this disease gnaws away at my brain.

I feel lonely, helpless, and lost,

As I ride the sporadic, angry waves, being torn and tossed.

There is nothing left to do now, but pray

And ask God to take all of my pain away.

For God is forever faithful and true;

And in my darkest hour, he’ll see me through.

So now with the rising and setting of each sun;

I turn to the Holy One;

Asking for mercy, strength and love —

I receive these, by God’s grace from above.

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This last one I wrote because I hate what European immigrants (our ancestors) did to the Native American people.  I have a great love for the Native American people, and my great-great grandmother was a full-blooded Cherokee Native American that I never had the privilege of knowing.

Tribute to a Lost Nation

Shawnee, Cheyenne, Arapaho, Cherokee, and Crow

These, and many other tribes, freely roamed this land long ago.

They were warriors and hunters with arrow and bows;

For food and clothing, they killed the deer and the antelope.

They loved, respected, and worked this land;

With primitive tools, blood and sweat came from their hands.

They have lost much and no longer proudly stand,

For they have been scattered like grains of sand.

As across this land, the wind blows,

I hear a voice echo;

“Tribes, such as Shawnee, Cheyenne, Arapaho, Cherokee, and Crow

Have all but vanished, like their brother, the buffalo.”

Are You and Outliner or a “Pantser”?

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Are you an outliner or a “pantser”?  What is a “pantser”, you may be wondering?  Well, a “pantser” is someone who writes “by the seat of your pants”.  In other words, they sit down and just start the story with very little planning or without developing any kind of written road map to follow.  Which one are you?

I’ve always been a “pantser” myself.  Everything I have written over the years has been done by the seat of my pants.  And, guess where all of those stories are — in a box — most of which are unfinished and all are unpublished.  Being my toughest critic, I didn’t think any of the finished ones were worthy of submission for publication, and the ones that are unfinished, are unfinished because I lost my way and the plot line faltered.  As a very creative person, I do not want to do anything that would stifle my creativity, as that is so important in writing.  Therefore, I refused to do an outline.  I felt it was too businesslike, too structured and too formal and, therefore, it would kill my creativity and the story would fail a-gain.

Then I read Outlining Your Novel by K.M. Weiland, available at Amazon.com both in paperback and Kindle.  I have the Kindle edition and I devoured that book, while taking copious notes.  It was a wonderful tool to help with my writing as it showed me that outlining doesn’t have to be the formal Roman numerals and lower case letters that we learned in high school. You can think outside of the box and create outlines that encourage your creativity!

K.M. Weiland suggested, for visual learners (which I am one), to use colored note cards pinned to a bulletin board instead of putting your outline on your computer, or you may want to use the extensive sketching and planning method. She suggests that we never be afraid to experiment. She discussed “Different Types of Outlines”: The standard “list” outline, Mind maps, Pictorial outlines, the map, and the Perfect Review.

The other great thing about this book is that she does a brief interview of different authors at the end of each chapter, asking them about their outlining process and what they consider the greatest benefit and the biggest pitfall of outlining. She also asks them about “pantsing.

I learned the true value of the tool of outlining and how truly helpful it is to writing a good story with a tight plotline. Through this book, I also learned the importance of spending a lot of time on the planning of your story and the value of lots of pre-writing for your story — things like Character Questionaires for main characters, the importance of knowing your main character(s)’ back story, brainstorming, free writing, etc.

I highly recommend this book, and I can say that, after reading this book, I highly recommend outlining. I am currently working on my outline and character questionaires and I haven’t hit writer’s block or a dead end yet. I believe using some, not necessarily all, of the things K.M. Weiland writes about in this book, will end or, at least seriously decrease, bouts of writer’s block.

Give an outline a try!

Making Connections

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As I stated in my last post, I did attend the Susquehanna Writer’s Workshop last Saturday.  What a great experience!  But, before I share all about it, let me tell you how I got there:

I joined Lancaster Christian Writers’ Group a little over a year ago and love attending their monthly meetings.  Almost every month they have a guest speaker who teaches on some aspect of writing, publishing or marketing, and then we have time for critique groups.  Critique groups are so helpful because we can share something we have written or are working on and get feedback from a group of writers.  We get constructive criticism as well as praise for the strong points.  If we don’t have anything to share, we can still participate in the critique group to offer our input on someone else’s writing.  I have learned so much just by being a part of these critique groups.

In the spring, Lancaster Christian Writers’,  (LCW), held their annual 1-day Super Saturday event, a Writers’ Conference.  It was the first writers’ conference I ever attended, and I loved it!  I did several posts on it afterward, so I won’t go into all that now.  That is where I met author, Marsha Hubler, who did a workshop at the conference.  I enjoyed the conference so much that when I was home, I booted up the computer and immediately looked up all of the people, authors mostly, I had met at the conference and connected with them on facebook and twitter and I bookmarked their blogs so I could continue to follow them. I found out about Susquehanna Writers’ Workshop through a link on Marsha Hubler’s blog and I immediately signed up.

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I had a beautiful, relaxing two-hour drive to get to the Susquehanna Writers’ Workshop, and when I arrived, I was surprised at how small the group was.  I was also surprised to see that all the attendees were women.  I checked in at the registration table and then perused the display table where there were writing resource books for sale at low prices, books by the workshop speakers and some of the writers in attendance, and some free information pamphlets and fliers with possible places to publish or some possible devotionals to submit to.  There were also a couple of books on the free part of the table and I grabbed up “Chicken Soup for the Writer’s Soul”.

Finally, I approached a table to look for a vacant seat.  I sat down with some very nice, friendly ladies.  After some announcements, we divided into the fiction workshop and the  nonfiction workshop.  Again, I was surprised, as most of the attendees were there for the nonfiction workshop.  I attended the fiction workshop.  There were only five or six of us and Marsha Hubler was our speaker.  The size of the group made things very comfortable and was very conducive to participation.  We had some great discussion and received some wonderful tips from Marsha.

When we first sat down, the lady to my left looked at me and said, “You look very familiar.”  She then asked a couple of questions which led us to the discovery that she had been the children’s pastor at a church we had attended many years ago.  She is now a reading specialist and a writer.  She has two books published already and is working on her third in a series of four.  It was delightful to reconnect with her.  She gave me here business card and I immediately connected to her facebook and twitter accounts and bookmarked her blog.

I also met a sweet lady who was originally from South Carolina and has written quite a bit, but hasn’t had anything published.  She was very interesting and pleasant, and I could kick myself for not asking if she had an email address that we could exchange email addresses to continue to keep in touch and encourage one another.  I don’t remember her last name either, so I can’t even check to see if she has a blog, but I don’t think she does.  I also don’t think she’s on facebook or twitter.  Ugh!

I also met a quiet, young lady who has a great interest in writing, but is also a homeschool mom of three young children.  I can so relate to her, though I didn’t have a lot of time to chat with her.  However, I did find her on twitter, and I found her blog.  Yippee!

Finally, I met an outgoing, wonderfully creative lady who has a fantastic idea for a book she is working on.  I truly hope she continues to press on, because I can’t wait to read her finished book.  She is a bit overwhelmed with the social media thing, which I told her I could understand.  It’s difficult enough to find the time to sit down and work on your actual writing amid the hustle and bustle of real life, but to then also have to have a social media presence is very time consuming.  I gave her some suggestions that I have learned during the past year in hopes of helping and encouraging her.

In case you’re wondering, the tips are:  set a timer for a designated amount of time when you sit down to do social media and when the timer goes off, shut off the social media.  This will help to keep you from having too much time swallowed by social media, which can so easily happen. Another idea, which is what I have decided seems to work best for me, is to simply designate one day a week for social media, and that leaves me five other days to work on my actual writing.  Of course, none of these plans are foolproof nor will they work all of the time because we live real life with its responsibilities, demands and unexpected events.  Also, it is very important to write everyday, as that is how we get better and better at what we do.  I recently read somewhere, and I think it was something Jeff Goins wrote, that you need to write something every day — just take 20 minutes and set a goal of about 200 words, but even if you don’t reach the 200 words, at least write for 20 minutes and just write anything.  If you feel stuck on the story you’re working on, you can just write about your day.  Just write about anything for 20 minutes and before you know it, it will be much easier to write everyday than it will be not to.  (I know I didn’t say that the same way as I read it, but that was the idea).

In closing, I would like to introduce you to one of the ladies I met at Susquehanna Writers’ Conference.  Her name is Kathie Mitchell.  If you have a couple of minutes, hop on over to her blog and read her post from October 8th to find out more about the book she is working on.  You’ll find her at:  http://countrygrandmother.wordpress.com/

New Beginnings

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It’s nice to be back here again.  I have missed writing here, but life has a way of throwing curves at you sometimes that cause you to change your priorities, at least for a season.  You all know that my family went through a lot of difficulties this summer with the complications that arose through mom’s heart surgery.  Well, when all of that began to settle down, my oldest son injured his leg and required crutches followed by a leg brace and physical therapy for about six weeks.  On his last day of physical therapy, my husband informed me that he is experiencing hip pain and problems from an old injury and today he begins physical therapy, and then last week, I ended up in the ER, for most of one night, with severe abdominal pains.  After some testing, it was determined that I have gall stones and am now on a very strict diet and am scheduled to see a surgeon on October 28th, with the plan of having my gall bladder removed.  However, I have some dear friends who have suggested that I see a naturopathic doctor before having surgery, so I will be seeing her on Tuesday.

I would love to be able to have the problem solved without surgery, if at all possible, but I don’t really know much about naturopathy.  It will definitely be something to learn about and to pray for God’s guidance in deciding which path to follow.

Now, to the topic I try to reserve this blog for, my writing.  Through all of these challenges I have not given up on my writing, even though I have been absent here.  I have been doing A LOT of reading and paying close attention to how authors handle Point of View (POV), as this is an area I have struggled with.  It has become quite clear to me how to handle it so as to have my writing clear and easy to follow.  Another thing that I have recently read is Outlining Your Story by K.M. Weiland.  I have always been a “pantser”  (someone who writes by the seat of their pants), not an outliner because I felt that outlining is detrimental to my creativity.  I was afraid that if I outlined, everything would turn too mechanical and would lose the creativity and emotions so critical to good stories.  However, I have recently felt that maybe there is a way to outline that won’t jeopardize my creativity, so I picked up K.M. Weiland’s Outlining Your Story in hopes of finding a way to do just that, and let me tell you, I was not disappointed.  I devoured this book and took copious notes because she explained how to use an outline to great advantage and to do so without losing your creativity.  In fact, it could very well aid in your creativity.  This book was a blessing for me, especially as she gave specific examples of outlines that could be helpful to visual learners, which I definitely am.  I look forward to start working on an outline for a story very soon, especially as I have just finished a fiction story I was reading, as well.  I don’t feel like I can read a story and work on one at the same time, at least not in the beginning stages.

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Another exciting thing that happened to get my writing brain geared up again is that I am currently teaching a writing class to 3rd through 5th grade students at our homeschool co-op, and I remembered a game I had purchased years ago to help teach my oldest son about story writing when he was about the same age.  I thought it was in the attic, so I asked my husband to help me look for it.  So, that Saturday, we went to the attic and my husband searched through several boxes, to no avail.

However, he did find a box we had put up there about three years ago that we labeled “Kelly’s Writing Stuff”.  I asked him to bring it down, and when he did, I spent the next hour just looking through that box.  It was fantastic!  In the box I found several stories that I had started, in the past, but never finished, as well as ideas for other stories and all of my poetry.  I was so excited!  I had been praying that God would give me my creativity back because I was feeling as though I had lost it during the struggles, and here was a good start on God’s answer to that prayer!

Oh, and by the way, last night, as I was looking for a specific notebook of mine, I found the game I had asked my husband to look for in the attic!

Two weeks ago on a Saturday, the monthly writers’ group that I attend began their new season (they take a break for July and August), and learned some helpful tips on finding time to write, as well as learning to distinguish between goals and desires and whether or not my writing goals are realistic and measurable.  Very helpful stuff!  I am so thankful to have found this writers’ group and am blessed to be starting my second year of participating with them.

This Saturday, I will also be attending a Writers’ Workshop and am excited to do so and to learn more.  I’m sure I’ll come home all fired up for writing a great story!

Learning About Story from Real Life

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Now that my mom is gaining strength and health, I have a little more time to think about the road we traveled since her surgery. As I have thought about it, I realized that it closely resembles the plot line of a story.

We began with a goal (story goal) — repairing the problems with her heart, then we hit an obstacle — her kidneys shut down. Then she had to begin dialysis, something she feared she’d end up on for the rest of her life and didn’t want to. She began to recuperate and was released to physical rehabilitation. Then, another obstacle — a bleeding issue sent her back to a hospital, where she began to improve and then–another obstacle — fluid build-up causing her to go into heart failure and ending up in the ICU. After a couple of days, improvement and back to a regular room. A couple more days and back to the rehab. Then, another obstacle — the bleeding returned and back to another hospital, a battle with a doctor (actually there had been a disagreement with a doctor before the fluid that caused the heart failure as well), and then, finally a good doctor who wanted to find the cause of the bleeding and fix it. Now, back to the rehab, and gaining strength and health and probably to be released in another week. (So, the story hasn’t really reached its conclusion yet).

But, all of that is just like a story plot line: you begin with a goal, and your character faces conflict and a disaster over and over again, scene by scene, until there finally comes a resolution and ending. This is what keeps readers reading, and of course, you need to create your characters well and bring them to life so that your reader can relate to them and care about them, because no matter how good your plotline is, if the reader can’t relate to or care about your character(s), they will either stop reading, or will end the book feeling unhappy and dissatisfied.

So, look at your life and the events that surround you. Can you find a plot line there? It may be the beginning of a good story.

When I Can’t Write

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          I can’t write when my life is filled with stress.

          I can’t write when my brain is filled with too many concerns.

          I can’t write when my brain is tired and just needs a break.

These are reasons why I have been M.I.A. (missing in action) from this blog.  I have missed my blog and my blogging readers and friends and those whose blogs I like to visit.  I hope today is the beginning of my return to regular posting.  My mother is finally on the road to recovery and strength.  It has been a long, hard journey that has left me weary and trampled my creativity for a time.  I have been trying to read, though, to keep my mind engaged as much as possible.

I have also been taking a refresher course in the Spanish language.  I studied Spanish for three years in high school and have always loved the language and done very well at learning it.  However, after high school, there weren’t many Spanish speaking people in our area and so I forgot some things, especially how to hold a conversation.  Now there are many Spanish speaking people in our area and so I am thrilled to refresh the language.  I have a wonderful young lady who is teaching me, but my last lesson will be on Wednesday, as she will be returning to Mexico at the end of the month to finish studying for her college degree.  I will miss her and the fun classes we have had together, but I am excited to put my newly refreshed language to work whenever and wherever I can.

So, what have you been doing this summer?

Have You Ever Welcomed the Darkness?

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     Here I am in the darkness again.  It’s become such a familiar place that today I feel comfortable here and don’t want to leave.  To leave would mean to go out into the light, and the light is where my pain comes from.  It’s what drives me to the darkness.

     I haven’t been this far into the darkness for a long time; to the place where I want to be left all alone; to the place where I am emotionally exhausted.  I take refuge in my room, but envision myself sitting alone in a dark corner of a cave.  It’s cold in here, but I feel safe, away from all the hands.

     The hands are in the light, always reaching for me — wanting.  They always want me to give:  time, attention, love; things from deep within me, but they don’t give much back in return and sooner or later, I end up here in the darkness, emotionally exhausted.

     I try to explain to them, two in particular, that they are hurting me.  I try to encourage them to look beyond themselves but my words seem to bounce right off, not getting through, having no effect.  Even my tears find no softness, apologies or compassion.

     I have cried out to God, begging and pleading with Him to open their eyes and hearts, to draw them to Himself, that they could learn to love each other, many times in the past.  I know He has heard every word, but even He chooses to do nothing.

     So, today, I didn’t even bother to pray.  I couldn’t find the strength or desire to send up another prayer for two hardened hearts.

     My heart is broken and, I suspect, the many tears I have shed will be followed by many more, and I am sure I will revisit this dark place of comfort again.

     Though I wish I could remain here, alone in the darkness a while longer, I will dig deep within, to the vast reserves of strength I believe the Lord placed within me a long time ago, and go forth to the light, and those groping hands, because I love them all with the love of the Lord and will continue to do so until the very last drop of that reserve strength is gone.

What About Happy Endings?

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  Does everything you write have a happy ending?  Do you think everything should have a happy ending?

A couple of years ago, I wanted to teach a class based on the book The Boy in the Striped Pajamas by John Boyne, and a couple of moms said, “Do you know how that story ends?  It doesn’t have a happy ending?” 

Before I could respond, one of the co-op leaders responded, “Life doesn’t always have a happy ending, and that book is about a time in history that didn’t really have a happy ending.”  (And they let me teach the class.)

That is one example of why some writing just can’t have a happy ending.  If it’s based on something historical and that historical event didn’t have a happy ending, you simply can’t have a happy ending.  Does that mean that what you write isn’t good or worth reading?  Absolutely not.  I found The Boy in the Striped Pajamas to be very well-written, and it was moving and thought-provoking.

It’s okay to write something sad.  What we write should be realistic and believable, even if it’s fiction, and since life is not always happy and doesn’t always have a happy ending, not all of our writing should or can have happy endings either.  We simply have to accept the fact that, when we write something that doesn’t have a happy ending, it won’t appeal to people who prefer to read only those writings with happy endings, but then, nothing any of us write will appeal to everyone anyway, but everything we write will most likely appeal to someone, and, if we are blessed, it will appeal to lots of someones.

So, if you are contemplating writing something that will not have a happy ending, and have been hesitating, stop hesitating and start writing.  Someone out there may just need to read whatever it is you’re contemplating.  There are plenty of people in the world going through difficulties, struggles, sad times, and it can make them feel better and less alone to know that someone else out there feels the same way, or can, at least, relate to them.

Life’s Curveballs

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Before I write about what’s currently going on in my writing life, I just want to share one of life’s curveballs.  Sometimes I think I will never succeed in my writing because other life priorities keep eating my time.  I know what you’re thinking because I’ve heard it before — “make time for your writing; make your writing a priority.”  I know that’s important, but for me there are other things that are even more important, or I should say people who are more important — my husband, my children, my parents and in-laws — all of the people I love, and I am currently at that place in life where I am needed by my children and my parents and in-laws. 

Recently, my mother needed open-heart surgery and in the beginning, we were on a roller coaster ride as she would have a good day followed by a day with a setback, then another good day followed by a worse setback.  For three days I didn’t do much except cry and pray to ask God to heal my mother and not take her from me yet.  Going through all of that, I couldn’t have written anything if I had really wanted to.  My emotions and my brain were totally overwhelmed with Mom’s well-being.

I praise the Lord now that she is doing much better, though she is still in the hospital.  She is no longer in I.C.U. and she continues to grow stronger and healthier each day, but she still has a long way to go, and she tires very easily, and she still gets discouraged.  So I need to be there for her to encourage her, to pray for her, to be ready to care for her when she comes home, which I look forward to doing.

Therefore, if I continue to be missing from this site frequently, I hope you will understand.  One thing that will make it easier is the fact that I now have a laptop of my very own, so I will be able to take it with me almost anywhere I go so that I can try to squeeze some writing in during short breaks in the days.

I’m still studying by reading as much as I can and attending any writers’ conferences, workshops and my local writers’ group as much as possible.  I have my local writers’ group next Saturday and I’m looking into attending a one-day writers’ workshop in September and I will be attending one in October.  I am also studying the Christian Writer’s Guide for  2014 to see where I might be able to submit some writing.  I have been told, recently, that it’s a good idea to do some things like magazine articles, devotionals and short stories to submit to different publications to help generate a steady income, as writing books takes much more time until finished product and possible publication and pay.

Our last writers’ group taught us that we may want to consider publishing our own book because it’s very practical and affordable in today’s world with E-books and online publishing opportunities.  It is best to have an agent if you are publishing for a royalty publishing house.  The best way to get an agent is to meet them at a conference and pitch your book to them.  It is very difficult to find and get an agent, and could take you the rest of your life, so don’t wait to write until you find an agent.

What am I Doing Now?

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Wow!  Last week just got away from me and I never got to post here.  Life has been busy as two weeks ago we celebrated my birthday and last weekend we celebrated our oldest son’s birthday.  This week we will be finishing up our school year, tomorrow I have a dental appointment, Wednesday my vehicle gets inspected and Friday and Saturday, we attend our local homeschool convention, so this week is busy as well.  I will post here as much as I can.

My next post will be about what I am currently doing to work on my journey to become a steadily published author.  I have already had three poems published in anthologies many years ago, and in early 2012, I co-wrote an article that was published in the online publication “The Old Schoolhouse” magazine.