Timeless Tuesday: History Related to My Novel
The above photo is from johnsigrid.blogspot.com. It is a photo of an actual Pony Express mochila that John and Sigrid saw at the Pony Express Museum in St. Joseph, Missouri.
Before I explain the mochila, I want you to know that the Pony Express began it’s run in early April 1860, and the Pony Express plays a big part in my upcoming novel.
Mochila is the Spanish word for knapsack or pack, and this particular type of mochila was used by the Pony Express. It fit over the saddle, as you can see in the above photo, it had four pockets or cantinas–two on each side.
Mail would be placed in three of the pockets and they would then be locked. There were only two keys for the locks, and the two keys were at opposite ends of the trail–one in St. Joseph, Missouri and the other in Sacramento, California.
The fourth pocket of the mochila was left unlocked and empty in the event that the Pony Express rider would receive a military dispatch along the way.
Mail was written on onion skin paper and was wrapped in oil cloth to protect it from the weather.
The Pony Express charged $5 per half-ounce for mail, which is about $85 in today’s money. They later reduced it to $1.
Because they needed to take care of the horses they rode on the route, there were weight restrictions for horse, rider, mail, and equipment. The maximum weight of the horse was 165 pounds. A rider had to weigh less than 120 pounds because they carried twenty pounds of mail and twenty-five pounds of equipment.
When You Were Mine by Alessa Martel
I received a free copy of When You Were Mine by Alessa Martel for my honest review. I was not obligated to write a positive review, and this review is my honest personal opinion of this book.
When You Were Mine is the story of Jenny, who chose to go to a college far from home after her relationship with her boyfriend comes to an abrupt end. She thought if she stayed away, she’d be able to get past it and move on. However, when summer break arrives and she has no choice but to return home to a small town where everyone knows everyone and their business.
Her life becomes very uncomfortable when people make their opinions of the breakup known and try to advise here as to what she needs to do. Things get even more awkward when she continues to run into Michael.
I found the first couple chapters of this book very slow paced and a bit redundant. However, when Emily returns home and has to face quite a few surprises and unexpected problems, the pace of the story picked up enough to hold my attention and keep me turning pages.
This book is written for YA girls and it has a couple good lessons in regard to relationships. It is a clean, sweet romance story about second chances. It is an enjoyable read and fairly well written. I highly recommend it for YA girls, but think Adult women would find it a bit slow, and would have some difficulty relating to the main characters.
Special Post Saturday
Photo by Robin Canfield on Unsplash
Here is a Flash Fiction story that was submitted by C. S. Wachter for last Thursday’s writing prompt that was to include the words “if looks could kill”. Thanks for submitting, Chris!
Enjoy!
The Eye of the Dragon
by C. S. Wachter
Sam’s breath funneled in through his nose and hissed out between his teeth. Each long stride carried him farther from camp and his friends. His lungs began burning a mile back, but still he continued; the crashing noises behind him driving him forward on weakening legs. Five minutes later, the forest opened onto a rock-strewn valley surrounded by cliffs. Though the track he ran followed no set course, he couldn’t shake the feeling the creature had herded him to this dead end.
Trembling, he released a curse. He flung his arms up and fisted clumps of sweat-dampened hair as he bent over and struggled to take deep breaths while scanning for a place to hide. He sent a quick glance over his shoulder. The creature hadn’t given up but judging by the muffled roar it was far enough behind that Sam could pause in his headlong rush, take a moment to fill his lungs, get more oxygen into his blood, and plan his next move.
Sweat dribbled down the center of his back and tracked through the dirt on his face from temples to chin as he focused on a darker splotch in the mottled gray rock face to his left.
The ground beneath him vibrated and heavy thumps rattled through his chest. Out of time. He pulled in the deepest breath he could manage, set his sights, and sprinted in a straight line toward the dark opening, praying it was more than a figment of his imagination.
Cool, damp air enfolded Sam, sending a chill through his overheated body. Before him gaped a black hole, behind him, a dragon roared its disappointment. Several more roars sounded before silence fell.
Inching his way forward, Sam moved deeper into the cave. Lightning flashed. No, not lightning. Steady light flooded the cave. And laughter. Brian’s laughter. Brian—the brother Sam had left back at camp and feared for.
More voices came.
“Happy Birthday!”
“Surprise.”
Brian strode forward, laughing. “That was the absolutely best simulation. You should have seen your face. By the way, bro, you probably didn’t notice, but there are surveillance cameras all through that forest. You said you were up for an adventure. Happy Birthday, bro.”
Still chuckling, Brian reached out to plant a hand on Sam’s shoulder, but Sam stepped back. If looks could kill, his brother would be roasted by a dragon’s fire in the next second.
Flash Fiction Friday: The Wedding Secret
Photo by Denny Müller on Unsplash
The Wedding Secret
by Kelly F. Barr
Kalliope smoothed the front of her white lace wedding dress and reached for her bouquet of lavender roses and white carnations with shaking hands.
She placed a hand on her stomach and looked at Riah, her bridesmaid. “I don’t know if I can go through with this.”
Riah stepped toward her and took her free hand. “You do love him, don’t you?”
Kalliope nodded. “Of course I do, but what will happen if his family finds out? I feel like we should have told them.”
“You know what would’ve happened if they knew, right?”
“They would’ve found a way to prevent us from marrying.” Tears welled in Kalliope’s eyes.
“Don’t let those tears fall. You’ll ruin your makeup.” Riah smiled. “You’re doing the right thing. You and Jerry belong together. You can’t let someone else’s prejudices prevent that.” She squeezed Kalliope’s hand.
“But they’re his family.”
“And he made his choice and his decision. This way, if they find out, it will be too late, and the two of you will deal with it together.”
Organ music drifted into the room. Riah gathered the train of Kalliope’s dress and pointed to the door. “It’s time to go.”
Kalliope gave Riah a wobbly smile and moved to the door. Riah arranged Kalliope’s train then stepped around Kalliope with care. They watched Gretchen, Kalliope’s sister, walk down the aisle, then Riah gave Kalliope a thumbs-up before walking down the aisle.
When Riah reached the front of the church auditorium, the organist began the “Wedding March”. Kalliope took a deep breath, released it, and gained some courage as her father smiled at her and she took his arm.
As she and her father walked down the aisle, Kalliope looked around at all the faces. They were all smiling at her. She wondered how many on Jerry’s side would be smiling if they knew. Then she fixed her eyes on Jerry, who was standing at the front, his eyes glued to her, a smile on his face. She found strength in his presence and her doubts melted away at the love she saw shining through his eyes.
Her eyes locked with Jerry’s when her father placed her hand in Jerry’s. The two of them turned to face the pastor. The ceremony moved along smoothly until the pastor asked if there was anyone present who could give reason that this man and woman should not be joined together.
Kalliope’s heart thudded and every muscle in her body grew tense as she held her breath silently urging the pastor to continue. Someone cleared their throat and the lights flickered three times before blinking off completely.
It took a couple minutes for everyone’s eyes to adjust to the pale light that peeked through the draped windows. Then the organ began playing and the organist stood up and backed away from the instrument. The organist’s eyes and mouth opened wide as the organ played without anyone touching it. Several gasps came from the right side of the room, the side where Jerry’s friends and family sat.
Kalliope looked at Jerry, who quirked an eyebrow at her. She shrugged her shoulders as she tried to quell her elevated emotions. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and released the breath through slow puffs of air. The organ music stopped, and when Kalliope opened her eyes, the lights had come back on and the pastor finished the ceremonial words before anyone else could find their voice, further easing Kalliope’s emotions.
When the pastor told Jerry to kiss his bride, he took her in his arms, dipped her as if they were dancing the tango, kissed her passionately, and as he returned her to her feet, whispered in her ear, “The lights and organ … that was you, wasn’t it?”
“I still struggle to control my magic abilities when my emotions are running high.”
Jerry grinned at her. “Marriage to you will certainly not be dull.”
As Kalliope savored the wedding meal, enjoyed cutting the cake and feeding a bit to Jerry and him feeding her, she began to relax. The dancing began and she took her place in Jerry’s arms.
He looked into her eyes. “You are beautiful and I am the luckiest man alive.”
She couldn’t help but wonder if he would still feel that way when his parents discovered her secret. His family wanted nothing to do with those who practiced magic—they said they were the reason the world was filled with hate, but Kalliope didn’t know any people with magic abilities that hated those who had none. It was always those without abilities spewing hate and being cruel toward those with magic abilities.
The dancing ended and Jerry’s parents loaded the gifts into their van to take to Jerry and Kalliope’s house while the newlyweds drove to the airport to fly to Missouri where they would spend their two week honeymoon in the Ozarks.
When they were seated on the plane, Jerry took her hand in his and rubbed his thumb over the back of it. Then he leaned over and spoke to Kalliope just above a whisper. “I’m looking forward to seeing what magic might happen tonight on our wedding night.” He winked at her and chuckled.
Kalliope’s face warmed and she knew she was blushing.
Thursday’s Thoughts, Questions, and Comments About Writing
(This is a photo I previously used from Unsplash, and I apologize that I cannot find the name of the photographer who donated it this time, but I am thankful for the wonderful photographers who donate their great work on Unsplash so that I have a great place to find images to use with my blog posts.)
The Importance of a Good Editor
Sadly, no one responded to my plea for a topic for today, so I have had to decide what to post on. I hope that means you all find my topics helpful, but I really would love for you to let me know some writing topics you would like to see me cover because my hope is to really make this blog a place for me to interact with other writers, as well as readers, especially those who enjoy reading my writing, so that we can stay connected as I begin publishing my books.
So, today’s topic is in regard to editing. How many of you get distracted when you are reading a book and you suddenly come across errors in the writing, such as grammar, spelling, wrong word choice, confusing wording, etc? What about a problem in something like a mistake in a character’s name or description, the pace suddenly slowing to a degree where you find yourself losing interest, a mistake in the timeline, etc.?
If you’re anything like me, these errors aren’t just distracting. I also find them frustrating, especially if they occur frequently throughout the book, and I begin to wonder if the writer had an editor take a look at their completed manuscript before publishing it.
Most of the books I find that have the most errors are those that have been self-published. However, I also find errors, though not nearly as many, in traditionally published books.
As a reader, I have been tempted to stop reading a few books because the errors were so prevalent.
As a book reviewer, I find it extremely difficult to give a book with a lot of errors a four or five star rating. It may be a story that has a great plot and some wonderfully engaging and well-developed characters, but the errors make it quite unpleasant to read.
So writers, take my advice. I know a good editor costs a good chunk of money, but, in the long run, they are well worth their cost, especially if you want to publish the best possible story you can, and if you truly value good book reviews–and we, writers, all know how important those are to our future books if we want to keep readers.
I can hear some of you now: “Well, I go over my manuscript three or four times line by line with a fine-tooth comb. It can’t possibly have that many errors within, by the time I publish it.” To which I would respond, “But how many errors do you find acceptable for your finished published work to have?”
I know that I read over my manuscript very carefully several times as well. However, I also have two great critique partners who then read over it, and they always find more things I need to correct.
You see, as we read our own manuscript, we read it with a bias and a kind of blind eye because we read it as we know what we expect it to say, and I think that’s why we miss some errors.
In closing, I want to encourage you to seek the help of an editor, with some guidelines: 1) don’t choose the cheapest editor you can find; 2) be sure the editor is someone you believe you will be able to work well with and who has the best interests of you AND your story in mind and at heart; and, 3) don’t work with someone who is unkind and harsh. A good editor points out errors and makes suggestions on ways to correct those errors without being harsh or cruel and without belittling you or your work. Instead, a good editor will encourage you and simply do their best to make your finished story the best it can be.
Does all of this mean your story will be published completely error free? Possibly, but there is no guarantee. After all, even the best editors are human and may miss a couple small errors. However, with the help of a good editor, the errors will be few and far between — enough so that your readers won’t want to put your book down and they will be more likely to give out not just a four or five star rating, but also a glowing written review!
#WritingCommunity #WritersCafe #amwriting
Wordless Wednesday
Timeless Tuesday: History Related to My Novel
Photo by Ben Turnbull on Unsplash
The Pony Express route was nearly 2,000 miles long overland, mostly in Nebraska, Wyoming, Utah, and Nevada.
The terrain the Pony Express traveled over was not inhabited by settlers. It consisted mostly of desolate areas of desert, mountains, and open plains.
The mountains and plains were cold and the deserts were hot and dry.
A Step Through the Empty by H.E. Salian
![A Step Through The Empty (The Vis Remaining Trilogy Book 1) by [H. E. Salian]](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/51JVNRjvKcL.jpg)
A Step Through the Empty by H. E. Salian is a debut novel. It is a fantasy story.
King Brynte has not been king very long and he faces many challenges, one of which is gaining the trust of his people. He is also faced with an arranged marriage he is unsure of.
Princess Istoria leaves her home to marry a king she is certain will make her life miserable, and soon finds herself thrust into a position where she must determine whom she can trust and whom she cannot trust.
In another world, an assassin has no loyalty to his master, which puts his life in danger, and could jeopardize other secrets he keeps.
Also, on earth, someone has sent information to a man who works in cyber security, information that is important for those in another world.
I found A Step Through the Empty a very unique story, in that it is a fantasy story that includes a king and princess in a castle that, at first, seems to be set in medieval times, but quickly proves otherwise as computer type technological devices are used. This led my mind to consider the possibility of “steampunk”. However, that idea was also put to rest as one very interesting character was introduced — a fantastical character. Then there are the different worlds, not to mention the Empty.
The most unique thing I found was how the author incorporated earth and some humans, like me, into the story, and how most of the characters from the other worlds were also normal humans.
Most of the characters in this story are endearing and I found myself rooting for quite a few of them and hoping they would survive until the end of the book. Many of the characters have become favorites, and their relationships with one another varied from delightful, witty, fun, and endearing.
Then there were the few characters I disliked and couldn’t wait to see them get what I thought they deserved.
A Step Through the Empty kept me turning pages from start to finish, and now I cannot wait for the next book in the series. I cannot wait to reconnect with these characters and see what happens to those I have come to dearly love.
This is definitely a book deserving of 5 stars and I highly recommend it to anyone who enjoys fantasy or any great story.
I received an ARC of this story. I was not obligated to write a review, and this review is my honest personal opinion of this book.
Special Post Saturday
Sadly, no one submitted any short or longer stories using Thursday’s Writing Prompt. So, as promised, I did write a story using the writing prompt, but it is too long to put in Thursday’s comments section, so I am posting it here.
I really hope some of you will join me for future monthly Thursday Writing Prompts, the second Thursday of each month.
When Love is Broken
by Kelly F. Barr
Vanessa arrived home from work early. She walked into the apartment and found two long-stem wine glasses on the table. One had red lip imprints near the rim. Her blood began to boil and she stepped toward the bedroom.
The sound of female giggles coming from behind the bedroom door ripped her heart in two. She had suspected, for about three months now, that Dawson was having an affair but she didn’t want to believe it.
What did he find lacking in their relationship? She gave so much of herself to him. Lately, though, she had found his attention and affections lacking. Maybe he had gone looking for someone younger in an attempt to relive his youth.
When the giggles grew louder, she rushed to the door and slipped out. She didn’t want to see what kind of woman Dawson had brought home. She needed to figure out what she was going to do. She slipped back into her 2019 Honda Civic and started driving, not even sure where she was going.
As she drove, a plan formulated in her brain. She drove to the bank, stopped at a quick shop, picked up a newspaper, then drove to a motel on the edge of town and rented a room for the night.
She walked into her rented room, lay down on the bed and cried. She cried until no more tears would come. Then she went into the bathroom and scrubbed her face. After exiting the washroom, she sat down at the desk and opened the paper to the “For Rent” section and circled any apartments that seemed promising.
The next day Vanessa called her boss and took the day off to look at apartments. She signed a year’s lease for the third one she looked at—a cute first floor apartment with a living room, dine-in kitchen, bathroom, and two bedrooms, one of which would be her office.
As she drove back to the apartment she used to share with Dawson, her cell phone rang. She looked at the screen to see who was calling … Dawson. She took a deep breath and released it before tapping to answer. “Hello, Dawson.”
“Vanessa, thank God. Are you all right? Where have you been? I’ve been worried sick.”
“I’m sorry. I stayed at a motel last night.”
“What? Why?”
“Look, I’m driving. Can we talk about this later?”
“Uh, okay. How about I take you to dinner tonight?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Vanessa, are you sure you’re okay? What’s going on? Can I meet you for lunch at our favorite little café?”
“That’s a good idea. How about 12:30?”
“Perfect. See you then. I love you.”
Vanessa clicked to end the call without responding.
At Dawson’s apartment, she strode into the bedroom, avoiding the rumpled bed. She moved to the closet, pulled out both large suitcases, and proceeded to pack her clothing. She wheeled the suitcases out to her Honda, managed to get them into the trunk, and returned to her apartment. After emptying Dawson’s suitcase, she placed it in the back seat, then drove to the local grocery store where she picked up some empty boxes before returning to Dawson’s apartment. She packed her books and her favorite mugs, some dishes, cookware, and silverware and her music CDs.
She entered the bedroom one more time, unplugged the small television, disconnected the DVD player, and took both, as well as a box of her favorite DVDs, out to the living room. She made several trips to her car, packing the trunk and back seat before returning to her apartment. When she had carried everything into her new home, she released a long breath.
When she arrived at the café, Dawson was seated at a table for two in the courtyard. He rose and met her, leaning to give her a kiss. She turned her face and he kissed her cheek. As he pulled back, he looked at her with a raised eyebrow.
Vanessa smiled and took the chair across from his. She picked up the menu and began to peruse it. When the waitress arrived at the table, Vanessa ordered, then Dawson ordered.
After the waitress walked away, Dawson searched Vanessa’s eyes. “Are you feeling all right? You’ve never stayed away from home overnight before. I was worried sick.” He slid a hand through the black hair on top of his head.
Vanessa’s gaze didn’t waiver. “What time did you start to worry?”
“Time? What do you mean, what time did I start to worry? I imagine once you were an hour late from work.”
“Yet you didn’t call until late this morning?”
Dawson leaned back in his chair and sighed.
Vanessa leaned toward him. “I don’t suppose you were so worried after all.”
“What kind of game are you playing, Vanessa?”
Vanessa, who had taken a sip of her water, nearly spit it across the table at him. “Me? A game? I think you know more about playing games than I do.”
The waitress returned with their orders and the two fell silent. Vanessa put a forkful of salad into her mouth as soon as the waitress turned to leave.
Dawson watched, as she ate several mouthfuls, before speaking again. “Do you remember the first time I brought you here?”
Vanessa placed her fork onto her plate as an angry heat crept into her cheeks. “Let’s quit beating round the bush, shall we? I arrived home two hours earlier than usual yesterday.”
She watched as the color drained from Dawson’s face. “Yes, well imagine my surprise when I found two wineglasses on the table. One bearing red lipstick. Then as I approached the bedroom, I distinctly heard female giggles.” She watched his face for further reaction.
“Vanessa, I… It didn’t…”
Vanessa raised her hand to stop him. “Don’t say it.” She rose from her seat.
“Where are you going?” Dawson rose to follow her as she headed to her car. “Vanessa!”
She turned to face him. “When you return home, you will find my things gone. I have moved out. You will also find that I took half the money from our savings account and all but $1000 from our checking account. If you want to entertain other women, do it with your own money … not mine.”
This time color rose in Dawson’s face—the color red. “Vanessa, this is crazy! We can work this out.”
She shook her head. “No Dawson. I’m afraid we cannot work this out. You had another woman in the bed you shared with me. That is not something I will tolerate nor is it something we can work out.” Her voice had risen with the last sentence. She had gritted her teeth on the last five words, and she heaved with anger.
Dawson turned and started back toward the café. He took about four steps, then turned back to face her and their eyes locked.
“Goodbye Dawson. I hope she was worth it.”
“I can’t believe you took the money.” His face turned cold and his eyes hardened.
A shiver slithered up Vanessa’s spine. If looks could kill, she’d need a body bag.
Kelly F Barr 